Well, four hours with eight children by yourself really isn´t so bad. Today we had the mother of all play dates, friends help us when we have hard days, a total of eight kids from ages 8 to 3. What the heck it´s only 5 extra kids, they can all wipe their own bottoms, that is half the battle! Surprisingly there weren´t any terrible moments, Roarke smashed his finger but didn´t you already know he would do something? ¡Viva con gusto! That´s my boy. We had a sad moment though, another little girl´s father lives far away and at that moment she really needed her daddy. So familiar with this scenario I am, what can you do but scoop up a kid and hug them? You can tell the child that your heart can hold oceans full of love and that is where your daddy always is, swishing away with your heartbeat. But that does not make the physical absence any better for the child. You can feel it but not see it? That sucks and how is that fair? I can´t answer that question and I admit to crying openly in front of my children when they cry tears of sadness from loss.
Our family is separated by miles and an invisible border, the kids do not understand what is going on, mommy and daddy love each other, why can´t we all be in the same place? Disjointed living so we can stay in Mexico as opposed to Indiana and still no daddy, again this is not fair and it sucks. But this is our life and everyday I try to encourage beautiful moments to bloom among us, though I´ve killed the grass in this spiritual journey...ah, ni modo as I have become fond of saying. This week, everyone had an opportunity to a mental health day, Isabel was the only one to decline saying "I LOVE SCHOOL!". Just last year she clung to my leg refusing to go to school, this week she was the center of attention for about 7 kids at school, so happy to see her. How life can change in the small space of one year.
Progressing through motherhood and life is my meditation for the day. What we are capable of as women and mothers, the flux of the stages of womanhood and motherhood... Always we are moving foward, definitely with time but also spiritually. I have never been more grateful and more pissed off at the gifts I receive from children and I love them for that. More than that I love the lessons everyday that; people change, situations change, how you can be afraid but it´s the wheel in motion and you cannot stop for fear. How did I ever get so lucky to have all this wisdom put in my lap so innocently?
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