Monday, May 5, 2008

nanny needed

well, this is my story for today. since R will be traveling to the states soon we both decided mama needs a nanny. living in mexico affords a bit of luxury in having domestic help available, and yes, i do realize this is a luxury which is why i used the word. so, in our naivetee, we posted this to the "civil list" in our town. a couple of women were helpful but there was one man that was well.... a
jackass, a burro, a rude human being. i was accused of looking for slave labor when my question was put out to people to help me with nanny protocol. i was accused of slave labor because i wanted a young woman to help me with my 3 children ages 7, 5 and 3 and just wondering could i ask her to cook and do light cleaning.

so, i said to myself WTF!!!??? i calculated the hours i have put in rearing 3 children and i rounded it down to 17,855 hours, i left off 4 months worth of work. work that i have not received any monetary compensation for, no insurance, and definitely no stock options. instead of what CEO's seek, i seek kisses and heartbreakingly gorgeous moments as my payment. when other mothers ask what do i do? i say i rear my children and i get the response "oh, so you just stay at home with your kids?" yes, i JUST do. i watch those children make discoveries, about themselves, the world they live in and the worlds they can only imagine. that is what i do and from those working moments i discover beautiful things about the world and the people that live in this world and my heart grows and says this world will be okay because i have given all of myself. i give all of myself because i love every microscopic piece of those 3 beautiful children that i gave life to. and i expect those 3 beautiful beings to give every bit of themselves to this place, this earth, this moment, without regret or doubt.

however, let us be realistic, nearly 18,000 hours of constant work makes a person tired, especially this mama. so i asked for help with a nanny.

what world is this when people can make a rash judgement of your character from a request for help? would that same person be critical of me if i ended up like the woman in texas that drowned her 5 children? i am betting that he would judge me either way, knowing this i had to respond. i told this man, that has never met me about the fierce beauty of my children, their uncompromising natures, their displays of gorgeous technicolor love. of what it is like to raise children now, to instill in those sweet minds the need to change the world, to tell them "you, you and you...you are what will make a difference to this world because i have loved and cared for you and it is our responsibility out of love to care for other mothers children all over the world!"
and yet, he thinks i want a slave. what a slap in the face. and this in the week that leads up to mother's day, which was a call to change by women. change the world with your children.

becoming a mother on christmas morning of 2000 was the greatest gift, the hardest gift received in one small skinny bundle. my first born son changed the woman i was and i became the woman i am. of all the things i want in this life...good god, and yes i have to say god is good, slave labor would be the furthest from my agenda. i am offended but most of all i am sad because this sort of labeling, these presumptions will face my children. accusations stick likes barbs in the skin and resentment of others begins to well up. if i can't ask for a few suggestions from a "civil list" where the hell in this life can i get the support i need to feel community. what will my children do when faced with this dilemma?