one of those days

today i woke up grumpy, day number two of grumpiness. this is a bad sign when you have 3 kids, husband, school, lunches to pack, playdates scheduled...and all i want to do is be reclusive to avoid being loca chica number one. you know that woman? the one her children run away and hide from.
so this week i have come to terms with the fact i am getting older, 38 this year, and there are some strange conditions to my hormonal balance, oh, that should be hormonal imbalance. i'm writing to purge that wild-eyed crazy woman coming to close to breaking the surface. no, i don't mind the fierce woman in me, i enjoy her company. i do mind when she makes me feel so dizzy with anger i feel heat rising from my body. i mind this because it makes me less of the woman i know i am. less of a wife, mother, daughter/sister, friend. so to all of you i cannot communicate with in my times of inner struggle, thank you for letting it be okay to get a little frayed near the ends. i'll take up weaving the ends together again next week. this weekend though, i think i'll be the proverbial neurotic red-head.

When I look at my children's hands and what they can accomplish in a day, what they can hold and create... I can only describe myself as grateful.

nature ruminations

Finally I have started a blog. I had to recreate this, 'becca helped me create a blog 2 years ago, but I have forgotten what we named it! So, I need to have a record of the funny things Roarke says. Last week we looked at the night sky and he said "Mommy, look it's Uncle Brian." Of course I ask where and he says "In the sky, see his belt?"
He had remembered the three stars that make up Orion's Belt but it sounds so much better as Uncle Brian's Belt!
Then last night Roarke and Richard were talking, somehow the idea of sleeping outside came up and Roarke in his 2 and a half year old wisdom says "I can't sleep outside daddy, there are no beds!" We had a great laugh over that, we who once trekked the United States with backpacks, mountain bikes and a dog. I've slept in my fair share of uncomfortable places, surprisingly they haven't been on the ground, they've been in double beds with 3 children piled around me. Of for the days of a tent and sleeping bag, they will return I know. Currently none of the kids want to have a camp out here in Mexico, they are worried about coyotes. I'm more concerned about the armies of red ants that eat everything, I'm positive they would eat a small child!